I blame Canada.
The hardest part about these Jay Z/Beyonce divorce rumors is figuring out which one we’re all gonna live with.
In my lifetime, we’ve officially gone into Iraq more times than I’ve gone into a White Castle.
Jesus, what’s our Iraq excuse gonna be this time? “Oh heeeey, I think I left my purse over there. Can I just check in one of my embassies?”
It’s fitting that the year we lose Egon we lose his Congressional lookalike.
Just go ahead and fly into my mouth, gnats. I don’t even care anymore.